Our life is the sum of our habits which is why if you feel unhappy, change your habits. Here is a list of 8 happiness habits according to science to give you a boost.
The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination. Carl Rogers
Life is a wheel, always turning from happiness to melancholy and back to happiness.
For others, in the words of Albert Camus, “The only serious question in life is whether to kill yourself or not.”
No matter where the wheel is for you, most of us can agree that the goal of happiness is always fleeting.
Why is happiness as a goal always fleeting?
First, because we think we know what will make us happy, but as science shows, we don’t (it’s not more money, true love or the perfect body).
Second, because we think of happiness as a permanent state to achieve (If I get more money, then I will be happy…. permanently).
But the truth is happiness is a mood. Like all moods, you can’t be happy all the time, you can aim to be most of the time.
Lastly, even if happiness is not a permanent state, we still have to work at it, if we are to be happy most of the time.
Most people think happiness will come on its own crawling all by itself into our hearts (It won’t).
We MUST intentionally and proactively work at it and put healthy habits in place to support ourselves to feel happier.
The 8 Habits You Need to Be Happier
According to the research by Sonja Lyubomirsky in her book The How of Happiness, three factors play a role in our happiness, genetics 50%, life circumstances 10%, and our thoughts and actions 40%.
You may not be able to control the other 60% yet but you can build healthy habits around the 40 percent (thoughts and actions) which you can control.
I also encourage you to take the Yale course on the good life by Professor Laurie Santos if you are serious about becoming a happier person.
Habit 1: Make More Money, then Use it Wisely
We have all heard the saying, “money does not buy happiness”!
Well, it turns out whoever said it was wrong, money does buy happiness when used wisely to enhance your life and that of others.
Money is great. It motivates a lot of people to become innovative and industrious and that is a good thing.
However, merely using it to buy more stuff and hoping they will make you happy won’t work. Here’s what you should do instead.
Invest in Experiences Not Stuff
Using money to buy cool stuff (shoes, bags, cars) eventually gets boring, it doesn’t matter what you buy, you will eventually get used to it.
Experiences, on the other hand, do not stick around long enough to get boring.
They can include anything you would want to do; that’s not a thing.
For example, go to the art gallery instead of buying another pair of shoes, skip the trip to the mall and go on a ski trip instead, take a friend out for dinner or better yet take a friend with you to the spa.
In a 2014 study, Pchelin and Howel asked participants to forecast how happy they would be if they purchased something cool versus if they used the money on an experience.
Most participants forecasted being happier with the purchase than the experience, but as it turns out, they were wrong.
The results show that participants who spent the money on an experience felt it was money well spent four weeks post-consumption than the ones who purchased material stuff with it.
Besides, buying stuff gets dull.
In another 2010 study, Van Boven had friends rate a person after talking about an experience she had versus talking about a purchase she made.
People who talked about stuff were rated as trendy, self-centered, insecure, and judgmental.
On the other hand, people who talked about experiences were rated as humorous, intelligent, friendly, and openminded.
Simply put not only do experiences make you interesting and happy but people will also like you better.
Be Present In Those Experiences
It’s better to spend money on experiences than stuff but you won’t be happier if you sleepwalk through the experiences.
So make it a point to stay present and mindful throughout the experiences.
Don’t take trips so you can post pictures about it on social media, pick a place to visit that you genuinely care about.
Then make it a point to remain mindful and present, savoring every experience and inhaling the happiness it brings.
Buy Happiness Through Kindness
According to Elizabeth Dunn in her book Happy Money, you can buy happiness but not in the way you might think.
Her research shows that people are happier when they spend money doing kind things for others than they are when they spend it on themselves.
The best part about it is that it does not matter how much spend.
So next time you feel sad, take a friend out and buy her a cup of coffee, you’ll feel better instantly.
If you would like more insight into her research watch this youtube video.
Use Money To Make Time
Another way money can buy happiness is if you use it to delegate the things you don’t like to do and free up time to do the things you love.
For example, if you don’t like cleaning, use the extra money to get someone to help you clean.
Then use the free time to do something you love instead of buying another thing you don’t need.
Habit 2: Intentional Use of Social Media
If you want to be happier, become intentional with your social media, and stop mindlessly scrolling through the newsfeed.
Even if you don’t realize it, your brain is continuously making comparisons with other people on social and making you feel unhappy with your own life.
Intentionally, using social media means staying present while scrolling through your newsfeed and paying attention to the thoughts and feelings that come up.
Alternatively, take breaks from social media every few months or delete the apps from your phone, and fully live your life.
Not for someone else but for you and I promise you will feel calm and happier.
Habit 3: Gratitude
Cultivating gratitude is intentionally appreciating what you already have or at least what is still going well for you.
A 2003 study, shows that people who are grateful are on average happier than people who complain and focus on what is going wrong in their life.
Surprisingly, the participants who were grateful exercised more and reported less health-related issues than participants who focused on complaints.
In short, if you want to be happy, cultivate gratitude.
Habit 4: Pursue Challenge Instead of Leisure
Another practice that will bring you happiness is creating more opportunities for flow (being in the zone).
The word flow was coined by a positive psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi.
Flow is the state Musicians; athletes, dancers, engineers report when they reach peak performance.
According to Csikszentmihalyi, we are happiest in a state of flow and he reports the characteristics of flow as;
- Working on Challenging but manageable goal
- Focused attention
- The activity is rewarding in itself
- Loss of consciousness and time
- Serenity
In simple terms, to be in flow, you need the right amount of challenge to create curiosity but not too hard that you get anxiety.
What does flow have to do with leisure?
Well, most of us believe that if we had more time for leisure and relaxation we would be happier.
However, but research shows otherwise when you’re about to watch a movie or to browse social media, you are not necessarily happy.
If I asked how you feel right before a movie, your mood might range from “meh” to apathy or even boredom, meaning you’re not inflow.
In a 1988 study, Lefevre surveyed 100 workers.
According to Lefevre, the workers who had interesting jobs (where high challenge and high skills meet = flow) were happier and felt confident and satisfied with life.
Surprisingly when the same workers took a survey during their leisure activities (low challenge/low skill), they reported feeling apathy and boredom.
If you want to be happier give up the belief that having more leisure will make you happier.
Siping margaritas at the beach all year will only leave you a hangover and excess weight.
Therefore, spend more of your free time on activities which make you curious enough to get inflow.
Habit 5: Do What You love
Having a good job with a high salary is not enough to make you happy.
According to Martin Seligman, one of the founders of positive psychology, people who use their signature strengths are happier and more fulfilled than those who don’t.
So, make it a point to use your strengths every day or at least three times a week.
Habit 6: Learn To Control Your Mind 
Our minds wander 46% of the time according to this study, which is almost half of the time on average.
The part of the brain that kicks in when we are not focused on a task and mind wondering is called the default network.
The default network focuses on the past, future, and other people. Although this network has Its advantages, it makes us unhappy when we use it unnecessarily.
It uses us instead of us using it. How do we get back in control?
According to Prof Laurie Santos, Meditation is the quickest way to learn to take back control of our minds.
Additionally, there is a lot of science showing that meditation helps to make us feel happier
If you are interested in learning how to meditate, you may begin here.
Lastly, if the only thing you do on this list is to learn how to meditate, you’ll feel happier.
Habit 7: Sleep
If you want to be happy, forget the “I’ll sleep when I am dead slogan.”
Make it a point to get at least 7-8 hours of sleep four nights a week.
The Side effects of sleep deprivation include;
- High emotional complaints
- Low sex drive, high blood pressure
- Poor memory, mood swings
- Loss of balance
- Risk of diabetes
- Accidents
Surprisingly 5 hours of sleep is also considered sleep deprivation, who knew!
Anyway, make time and catch up on some sleep.
Habit 8: Exercise
Exercise, Exercise, Exercise!
The body needs movement to feel good, 30 minutes a day is all you need.
If you can’t make it to the gym, try yoga.
Alternatively, you can take a 30-minute stroll around the neighborhood, and I promise you will be happier.
Remember, you have to put these habits into practice if you want to feel happier.
If you need support in implementing these habits let me know in the comment section before.
With Love,
Sania
Dailyzens.
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