Developing mental strength is a conscious endeavor. Here are 10 ways to build mental strength and achieve your goals.
Have you ever wondered why some people seem to go through life despite encountering several obstacles effectively?
Becoming good parents, having successful careers, marriages, and accomplishing more than others can dream of in a lifetime? While the rest seem to survive barely?
Contrary to popular belief in talent, research shows that it’s not talent or intelligence that helps people thrive and succeed in life, rather mental strength and grit is the highest determining factor to success and effectiveness.
Luckily mental strength is a mental discipline that can be cultivated through training and hard work.
Before we do that, I would like to discuss a few things mentally strong people DO NOT Do; if you notice these behaviors in yourself, you can begin working on transcending them.
Habits that Lead to Mental Weakness
The following practices will work against your desire to become mentally strong.
They will drain you mentally and reduce your level of resilience to cope with the ever-changing life circumstances. Do not flirt with any of these habits.
- Feeling sorry for yourself. Self-pity focuses on the problem instead of finding solutions to it. The longer you spend in self-pity, the less energy you will have to find creative solutions
- Blaming others for your problems. Blaming is a form of avoiding taking responsibility and control of your life.
- Nobody owes you anything, make plans work hard but also prepare for it all to fall apart. Having a sense of “life owes me” will weaken your mental muscles and lead you down to disappointment and despair.
- People Pleasing will waste your time and leave you depleted mentally. It’s okay for people to be disappointed and angry with you.
- Resenting other people’s success is a way to ensure you don’t become successful. There is enough to go around.
- Focusing on things you can’t control is a mental drain.
Difference between Mental Strength and Acting Tough
Mental strength is a skill that can help you improve almost every single area of your life, but you must be careful not to confuse it with acting tough.
People who act robust claim to be; fearless, overestimate their abilities, claim they do not fail, act grandiose, thrive on power, and claim to be perfect.
Art of Prized Scars
Here is an analogy to get you started building mental strength.
In the Japanese art of kintsugi, when a vase, teapot, or bowl breaks, the Japanese use liquid gold or silver not only to join the pieces back together but also to give the bowl a new, more polished aspect to it.
Every piece repaired becomes unique and different, because of the randomness with which it shatters.
The scars on each piece are exhibited and celebrated, creating beautiful pieces of art.
The same is correct for mental strength; it is not about being tough.
It is accepting your vulnerability, pain, and disappointments (your scars so to speak) and joining them back together with liquid gold (mental strength) and continually charging forward in life.
Here are 10 Ways to Build Mental Strength
Make friends with Your Insanity
No one is perfect; no one is entirely sane. The levels of degree of madness and insanity vary from one individual to another.
Most of our insanity started early in childhood when we made up our minds about how life should be, understanding your level of insanity is a friend when it comes to building mental strength.
Let us take an example of fear; for example, many of us spend all day talking to ourselves through our thoughts and imagination about the future.
It is no wonder most of the fear stems from this.
Often it is not what is happening that makes you afraid, but what you imagine will happen that does.
Understanding that you tend to imagine things that may not happen 80% of the time can be a tool you use to remind yourself in times of excessive fear that most of what you imagine probably won’t happen.
Practicing this over time will significantly reduce fear in your life and free up energy to focus on solutions.
Mindfulness to build clarity
Mindfulness and Meditation is a helpful tool to train your mind to take orders from you and to gain clarity on your life experiences.
According to a study featuring 327 undergraduates, researchers found that “individuals with higher mindfulness have greater resilience, thereby increasing their life satisfaction.”
Furthermore, researchers found that mindfulness weakens the link between people fixating about their problems and the probability that they will try again.
You should have a daily meditation or mindfulness practice if you want to build mental strength.
Feel Your Negative emotions on purpose
As human beings, we have naturally evolved to avoid things that make us feel bad; so, it does not come as a surprise when we avoid feeling the negative emotions.
However, suppressed emotions do not magically go away; they linger and drain your energy, both physical and mental.
Purposefully feeling your negative emotions is a tool that is underrated when building mental strength.
First, when you accept negative emotions, you are accepting the truth about how you feel; secondly, allowing the emotions and feeling them; teaches you how to manage them in the future.
Lastly, you will notice that negative emotions are just feelings, just like all emotions they come and go. Understanding this simple fact is mental strength.
Controlled Exposure to Fear
Controlled Exposure to fear is helpful if you want to take charge of the fear instead of letting it dictate your life.
For example, if you have a fear of public speaking, it can be helpful to attend toast master’s meetings.
Toastmasters is a form of a support group for those afraid of public speaking, which means you can face your fear in a safe place, knowing you will not be judged.
Apply this principle to areas in your life where you experience most fear, and you’ll be on your way to building mental strength.
Build Strong Relationships
Good relationships can be an excellent form of support on the journey of life, so invest your time in building them.
Relationships can also be an excellent way for us to learn about ourselves.
The people close to you tend to see your weaknesses quicker than you can see them in yourself.
If you have built trust within your relationships, they can provide a good training ground for learning to manage your emotions, let go of expectations, learning about yourself, and build mental strength.
Small Consistent Wins
Building mental strength is not about doing great things; neither is it about positive thinking or motivation. It is about building little, good consistent habits over time.
Mental strength is built from moment to moment decisions and habits; for example, choosing to clean the dishes when you don’t feel like it, choosing to make it to the gym when you don’t feel it.
Showing up for the small stuff will build your mental muscle overtime for when you need it.
Focus on building a system
I emphasize the importance of building a stable system of daily habits to support your goals.
It’s essential, I do not know anyone who feels their best all the time, if you are waiting to find the motivation to get things done, you’ll be waiting a long time.
So chose a few simple habits that support your goals and focus on consistently showing up for them every single day.
Staying committed to that system regardless of how you feel is a sure way to build mental strength.
Learn from the Past But Don’t Dwell on It
The past is a great teaching tool for the future; through reflection, we can learn to avoid making the same mistakes twice.
If you still have memories that make you cry, maybe it’s time to see a therapist.
Unresolved memories tend to repeat themselves; resolving them will free up your energy to live creatively.
Commitment and Accountability
When we were kids, our parents played the role of an accountability partner.
As adults, we must take on this task ourselves, holding yourself accountable is an act of service towards yourself.
Accountability is a great way to build mental strength.
Remember to forgive yourself when you fall back into self-pity and to pull yourself up again after you make a mistake quickly.
Simply put, you are your own best friend and accountability partner, so show up for yourself.
Gratitude
Lastly, no matter what life throws at you, it can get better, it can also get worse, so every morning, count your blessings and be grateful for all that is working even if it’s not everything.
When things get tough most people give up and look for something more comfortable to work on; don’t be that person.
I understand that some things are easier said than done, but life doesn’t care about that; it only rewards courage, resilience, and those who refuse to stay off the schedule of their dreams.
Love and Light,
Sania
Dailyzens.
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