Whatever your dreams or goals in life are, there will be obstacles in your way. Here are few tips to reduce suffering, overcome obstacles and build the life of your dreams.
“The bravest sight in the world is to see a great man struggling against adversity.” – Seneca
We all have dreams and goals in life. For everyone with a dream, obstacles are inevitable.
If you’re reading this, I assume something did not go as planned, or you are dissatisfied with your job, relationship, or life sucks in general.
Maybe you are stuck with unfavorable conditions, or you’re trying something new, and it is hard, you feel overwhelmed, outmatched, or out of ideas, it could also just be that you fell on some bad luck, made a poor decision or maybe life just happened.
I hear you! We have all been there.
I won’t bore you with feel-good advice because I understand that sometimes pain is real, and you can’t positively think your way out of it.
So, here are some practical things you can do to push through the pain and overcome whatever obstacles you may be facing, am holding your hand through the pain.
First, here is what you MUST NOT do if you want to reduce suffering and overcome obstacles.
Panic
Do not panic; I know easier said than done! The first thing most of us do when life throws us unexpected punches is, we panic, and who can blame you?
Problems are real; you have a mortgage and bills to pay, how are you going to survive, how are you going to live without that person, God knows you should be a millionaire by now and so the story continues.
In a state of panic, you might feel pushed to make quick decisions that are born out of fear to try and quickly solve the problem.
Do not do that, the part of the mind that makes decisions when we are in a state of panic and fear always makes terrible decisions.
Comparison
Do not get trapped in Comparison. When life is not working out according to plan, our mind tends to pick up signals of every other person whose life seems to be working, primarily in the same area in which our own life is not working.
If you’re struggling financially, your social media feed might be filled with friends having the time of their lives.
If a business deal has failed, your mind will seek out friends or random people on the internet whose businesses are thriving, or if you are going through a break up all you see are happy couples.
Comparison can trap you and lead you down the rabbit hole of depression, shame, and loneliness. So, do not fall for it.
If it means stepping away from your social media for a few days, do it.
Everyone has their challenges.
Life happens in cycles and It is inevitable to hide from them.
We all experience the cycles at different times, so do not let perfect looking lives deceive you when you are struggling.
Refuse to acknowledge your pain and fears attached to the obstacle
Many of us live unconsciously at least 70% of the time.
This means that we are experiencing more fear and pain than we are consciously aware of in the face of a challenges.
You may even drink excessively to numb the pain and anxiety you may be experiencing.
Contrary to the images depicted in movies of people having a drink, mainly when life is difficult, this is not the time. Challenges give us a chance to feel more, question our assumptions, beliefs, and grow.
Journal and acknowledge the fears you have, cry if you must through the pain, shout, scream in your own time whatever it is you need to do to get the disappointment out without harming others and yourself, do it.
Do not refuse to acknowledge how you feel.
Share your problems with Negative Nancy’s
It can be helpful to share your problems and feelings with others; I caution you to do it with people who are in your circle of trust.
Sharing your story with negative Nancy’s or anyone who will make you feel more negative than you already are, will produce excessive fear and make you even more anxious.
Judge or blame
When things do not go according to plan, we tend to spend time lamenting on what we could’ve done or what someone else should have done but didn’t do.
Judging and blaming will lead you deeper into suffering and further away from finding creative solutions to the obstacles in your way.
How do you react and find ways to manage through the pain and overcome the obstacles in your path? Here are practical tips to overcome any obstacle.
Gratitude
In my personal life, gratitude has given me an excellent foundation to wake up in the morning and do something about my obstacles, especially through challenging times.
I went through a challenging time when my partner was sick; watching him in pain alone was debilitating.
At the same time, I was working on a startup and had a toddler who was undergoing the “terrible twos,” I felt afraid and anxious because I thought I might lose my partner.
Consequently, the startup brought with it challenges and having a toddler throwing a tantrum every hour didn’t help.
What got me through the day was starting the morning by writing out things I am grateful for; they were hard to find because every area of my life felt like a challenge.
When you feel it most difficult to find what to be grateful for, this is when it is most important.
Go on an appreciation rampage and write out a whole page of the things that you’re grateful for; even if it as simple as your breakfast meal, this will give you ground to begin the day.
Managing Emotions
Challenges come with a wide range of emotions, fear, frustration, overwhelm, sadness, anger, and shame, to name a few.
When these emotions are dominating your life, you will lose perspective.
Simply put, ant hills become mountains! What you need more than anything at this point is the right perspective.
Meditation, taking a walk, or even just time spent in silence can help you manage your emotions.
Here is a 15-minute guided meditation you can use.
Your mental state is essential when it comes to overcoming challenges.
You can also reach for the next best emotion, for example, if you feel fear, the next best feeling can be acceptance.
Accepting negative emotions and purposely feeling them makes them lose their power.
Objectivity
Will you never get another relationship? Are there no other opportunities that may come your way?
Is your life ruined that you can’t pay that mortgage, or are you just scared of what people will say? Have you been out-marched in your new business venture, or can you learn and grow from it?
Most of the time, we do not see our problems objectively. We feel overwhelmed and say things like, “It would be awful if I lost my job.”
Maybe it would be better to say,” it would be inconvenient if I lost my job, or ”I can’t stop worrying”.
Perhaps it would be better to say, ”I can stop worrying, I just haven’t figured out how to do it.”
Step away from the challenge or obstacle and find an objective view about it.
Responsibility
Whatever obstacles you may face in life, don’t lay around, hoping someone else will come and help you fix everything.
No one is coming, so take responsibility, learn, and start looking for solutions out of the obstacle or challenge.
Taking Day by Day
When all fails, sometimes it’s better to take it day by day or even moment to moment.
Some obstacles seem so huge that you can’t see a way out of them no matter how hard you try.
For such times it is better to take it day by day!
Be kind to yourself and do what you can for a day, then another, and maybe someday you might push yourself out of the obstacle into the light.
Finding Creative solutions
Begin reading a book or inspiring story of anyone who has overcome the kind of obstacle you are facing.
There is nothing new under the sun.
Therefore, no obstacle you are experiencing is unique, with a quick google search, you will see people who have overcome what you are going through.
Begin there for inspiration, and creative solutions will start following.
Overcoming Despair
Take heart; do not give in to despair; there is a solution to every obstacle; you just need to find it.
Build Inner Stability
Life is a series of cycles, from happiness and amazing things happening to stability and finally challenges.
It is helpful to have a system that helps you navigate through the different seasons so that circumstances do not always sway you.
I have found that system in daily meditation and yoga, but yours can be prayer, endurance through exercise, or another form of activity that works for you.
Find what works for you and begin to practice it daily; it will help you through future challenges.
Follow these tips and you will reduce suffering, overcome obstacles and feel confident about building the life of your dreams.
Love and light,
Sania
Dailyzens.
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