From the moment we wake up, the mind begins racing, we are self-critical, angry, guilty and fearful. Discover how to become open, stop mind racing and be mindful.
Mindfulness conjures up images of a person in lotus position meditating or practicing yoga for most people. While these activities are an excellent doorway into mindfulness, they do not make up for the present moment and mindfulness in everyday activities.
Why should we care about mindfulness?
If you are reading this, then there is a high probability that you have tried meditation and yoga at least once, you have felt peaceful right after these activities, but you find that it is almost impossible to stay in this state of mind all day.
Try as much as you can to meditate, and you will find your mind racing, anxious at some point during the day; this might lead you to ask, what is the point? It would be nice to stay mindful all day, but is it essential for me to stay mindful all the time, every day?
Yes! It would be best if you stayed mindful all the time. Here are a few reasons why;
- It is your life, honor it. Each minute you become tolerant of mind wondering you give away responsibility for your life, leaving the past (your default) in charge to dictate your future.
- Mindfulness helps us become peaceful. We stop being at war with the present moment and so we are better able to deal with whatever challenges life throws at us.
- Through mindfulness, you get clarity to everyday problems. We cannot feel capable and worthy of solving problems if we are living in a mental fog. Mindfulness helps to clear this fog, a better alternative than binge eating, watching tv, or compulsive shopping.
- We become compassionate with ourselves and others. When we are present and mindful, we can see that when we behave poorly, we are in pain, we extend this understanding to others.
A Wandering Mind Is an Unhappy Mind
According to a study done with 15,000 participants, people were found to be happier if they were immersed in the present moment than if their minds were wondering regardless of whether they were thinking positive or negative thoughts.
When we find ourselves in unpleasant circumstances (doing something you don’t like), it is a common coping mechanism to escape the physical reality to your mind; going back between memories and fantasies of a future to find relief.
However, the data from the study shows that relief is in the present moment.
Participants who hated the morning commute found that if they were mindful throughout the commute, they were happier than when their minds wandered.
If we are much happier in the present moment, why don’t we do it more often?
Obstacles to Mindfulness
I have personally noticed that while mindfulness sounds good “on paper,” practicing it throughout the day is not easy. The barriers to mindfulness include anything that keeps your mind wondering instead of paying attention to the task at hand.
Here are a few from personal experience;
Failure to forgive
When a person close to me says something that I find hurtful, I rehearse the conversation in my mind throughout the day.
Other times I have made mistakes, said something I shouldn’t have, and I end up regretting it; I then have a mental dialogue about what I should have said, keeping me from the present moment.
As soon as I become aware of the mental dialogue I am having with myself, I observe it and forgive the thoughts depending on the content.
In simple terms, if you are blaming yourself and wishing you had done better, forgive yourself! There is no point in rehearsing what happened; the past is gone.
If you feel hurt by someone and you are thinking about what they said or did not say, forgive them.
Say mentally, I forgive you (insert name of the person), am letting this go so I can enjoy the present; this statement will jolt you back to the present moment.
Failing to tell the truth
Recently, I saw a quote “if you avoid the conflict to keep the peace, you start a war inside yourself.”– Glennon Doyle
I agree! Failing to tell your truth creates conflict within you; this forces your mind to look for a distraction and therefore run from the present moment. Telling the truth whatever you feel is the truth at that moment will make it easier to be present and mindful.
Fighting with reality
We all have plans until we don’t. Life is continually testing us, and sometimes, when things do not go according to plan, we may get tempted to rebel against reality; this keeps us from staying mindful.
You lost your job; I get it you have a right to be pissed off and depressed but don’t stay there too long.
Accepting reality even when we do not like what we see creates peace and harmony with us, and it is in this state of mind, we can find the best solution to whatever challenges arise.
Guilt
Everyone makes mistakes; that is what makes us human. Although it is vital to feel remorse and apologize if necessary, we need not stay in this guilt.
Holding ourselves to guilt can help us feel like we are doing something about our mistakes, at least we are punishing ourselves, but all it does is keep us living in the past.
Let the guilt go, forgive yourself so you can be open to the present moment.
How To Be Mindful All the time
Now that we know some of the obstacles that keep us from being mindful, here are more tips to stay mindful.
Commitment: At the beginning staying mindful will need effort, so you must be committed to staying mindful.
Setting an intention to be mindful at the beginning of the day will be helpful throughout the day.
Start the day off with a practice: Whether it is meditation or yoga, an early morning mindfulness practice will give help you start the day with mindfulness. The peace you feel after the meditation can be a reference point for the rest of the day. Whenever you lose this peace, it’s time to come back to the present.
Mindfulness bells: Pick anything in your surroundings or activities and turn it into a mindfulness bell. It can be eating, washing the dishes, your mid-afternoon cup of coffee. Let these become your visual reminders to be present.
Use R.A.I.N for difficult emotions: Rain stands for;
- Recognize the emotion
- Allow yourself to feel it
- Investigate the emotion with kindness
- Non- identification
Difficult emotions, such as fear and anger, push us into reactivity.
R.a.i.n moves you out of reactivity.
Whenever a difficult emotion arises, recognize it, feel it, investigate how it feels within your body without judgment, and let it go. It is better to do this as soon as the emotion rises than storing it for later.
Journaling: Journaling can be an excellent tool for organizing your thoughts.
If you have anxiety about a challenge, note it down, then set aside time to sit down, journal, and find creative solutions.
Apply this to anything you think is essential; this will give you clarity and free your mind up for the activity at hand.
Remember to be kind to yourself when you find your mind wondering, treat it like you would treat a child with kindness, yet staying firm and persistent.
May the present moment bring you peace!
Did I miss out on a helpful tip on staying mindful? Let me know in the comment section.
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