Learn the difference between good and harmful stress, plus the most effective stress relief techniques and activities to help you create emotional balance.
One thing I am learning as an adult is that I have been dead wrong about everything; that may come as a surprise to some of you, but it is true.
Some of the things I believed to be true include.
- Negative emotions are wrong, and you should avoid them at all costs.
- I thought there were two kinds of people; those who do not feel fear and anxiety and then me.
- And my favorite, Stress is Bad for you.
Um, in case you did not see that last one, I’ll repeat it; Most people believe that stress is bad for them; however, recent research tells us that stress might, after all, also have its benefits.
Surprising!
In this article, I’ll help you understand the differences between good and bad stress as well as how to leverage the good stress and a few stress relief techniques and activities and to help you manage “the harmful” stress.
What is stress and Why is It Helpful? 
According to Positive Psychology, “Stress is the “psychological or physical response you have when you feel an imbalance between the demands of life and your ability to meet those demands.”
Well, thanks for the definition! You might think, but how is that helpful?
Daniela Kaufer, a professor at UC Berkeley who studies stress, says, “People complain about being stressed out. But we’re learning that moderate amounts of stress have powerful benefits.”
Additionally, she says the stress response is meant to help us react when something frightening happens and to help us deal with it and learn from it.
Surprisingly, research also shows that moderate stress increases alertness and performance.
I’ll be honest, despite what the scientific research says, I would still take a stress-free life any day, who wouldn’t?
How To Leverage The Positive Effects of “Good Stress”?
As much as I still hold the fantasy of living in the “stress-free” world, the truth is, stress is not going anywhere.
So that leaves us with two options: first, accept the moderate stressors as part of life (tight deadlines, marriage, having a child, heartbreak) and leverage them to learn and grow.
Secondly, we must develop healthy strategies to cope with chronic stress and buffer its effects on our mental health and wellbeing.
You can leverage good stress doing the following:
- Use positive stressors such as fasting and lifting weights to improve your health.
- Psychologically, you may use good stress to build resilience, self-worth, and self-sufficiency.
- Emotionally, use it to motivate and inspire yourself to grow as you rise above the challenges.
You might also enjoy this TEDTalk on how to make stress your friend.
Stress Management Techniques & Strategies
Before we get to the stress management techniques and strategies, I recommend you get Kelly McGonigal’s book, The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You, and How to Get Good at It.
Kelly breaks down our response to stress into two: Fight or Flight or the Challenge-response.
Consequently, we will only focus on the challenge-response because if you clicked this, I am sure you are interested in strategies to cope with stress and not in fight or flight.
I have broken the techniques down into three: Action, Emotion, and Acceptance.
Action-Based Strategies
What I have learned about stress is to differentiate the things in my control and those that are not.
Consequently, these strategies and techniques will help you act on what is in your control to change the stressful situation.
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Cut down on the noise and distractions.
Despite the temptation to use technology as a distraction, this is the best time to switch off all the technology, screen time, and constant stimuli so that your brain can slow down.
Make time for some quietness each day and start reflecting on what you can control and what you can’t.
Journals are an excellent self-reflection tool if you have one use it to get clear on what is in your control.
If you don’t have one, you can get it here.
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Be assertive
As soon as you are clear on what you can control, take action, and assert yourself if you need to.
When we’re assertive, we can ask for what we want or need, and also explain what is bothering us.
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Get out of your head.
Sometimes the racing thoughts make us lose perspective.
Therefore, so you might need to take a walk, have dinner with a friend or read a good book before you can find good solutions out of a stressful situation.
Emotion-based Strategies
Sometimes our thoughts magnify events to look bigger than they are. Emotion-based strategies help you question the thoughts you have about stressful events to help you perceive those situations in a way that empowers you.
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Katie Bryon’s Four Questions
I find the strategies in Katie Bryon’s book Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life extremely helpful, especially if the stressors I have are interpersonal.
She shows you how to implement the four questions in this video.
Katie says, asking these four questions when you feel stressed can open the doorway to clarity.
On a piece of paper, ask the following questions:
- Is what I think about this person or event true?
- Can I absolutely know that it’s true?
- How do I react, what happens, when I believe that stressful thought?
- Who would I be without that stressful thought?
As I mentioned earlier, you will find the questions more effective if you either watch the video or read the examples in her book first.
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Affirmations
Although science shows that affirmations work only as long as you believe them, they can still help to increase positive emotion.
Simply replace those negative thoughts with the most believable positive statements, and you instantly become open to changing the way you experience the world.
Acceptance-based Strategies
Acceptance based exercises should be apart of your daily routine, why, because they will make it easier to accept what is out of your control.
Consequently, adding these strategies to your routine will keep you grounded, build resilience, and help you manage stress better.
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Sleep
Getting a good night sleep will recharge your body to better handle stress in the best possible way.
If you are having trouble sleeping, we have a free step by step sleep guide to help you sleep to get a goodnight’s sleep.
Simply leave a comment at the end of the post, I’ll reach to you and send you a free copy.
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Meditation and Physical relaxation
Whatever helps you cultivate mindfulness can be a form of meditation; taking a mindful shower, a walk, yoga, or any one of these meditation techniques will do.
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Diet and Exercise
You know you should be eating a healthy diet and exercising so, why aren’t you?
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Good relationships
I discuss the importance of having good relationships here if you want an in-depth understanding.
Recent research shows that good relationships and social support can buffer against stress and shape brain activity.
So, call up friends and talk or, better yet, go out with them for dinner.
If you’re an introvert, don’t worry its not the number of relationships but the quality that matters so you too can call up a trusted friend or partner.
Stress Relief Techniques & Activities
When stress management strategies are not enough, try these seven stress relief techniques and activities.
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Tap into your senses
Tuning into your senses; See, smell, touch, taste and hear, automatically slows down the brain and will give you instant relief.
For sight, I recommend going out for a walk pay attention to nature.
The pleasant smell of essentials oils or burning a scented candle can instantly calm your nervous system and help your body relax.
My favorite essential oils for stress relief are:
Hand Therapy stress balls also come in handy for touch.
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Self-massage
Self-massage exercise is soothing and can provide instant relief. Here’s a video with detailed instructions on how to do it.
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Body Scan
According to positive psychology, the body scan relaxation technique works by slowing down your thoughts and bringing your awareness back to your body.
This audio track by Mindful.Org is excellent for beginners.
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Try CBD
Although research on CBD is still slim, researchers say it acts on the nervous system in a way that makes it a promising therapy for stress and anxiety.
You can get it here.
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Doodle
You don’t have to have any skill at art to doodle just to let your pen have its way with the page, or even more accessible, get our free mindfulness coloring book below.
Our free mindfulness coloring book provides several hours of mindfulness, creativity, and stress relief.
If you enjoy this article or have any questions, please leave a comment below.
Love,
Sania.
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